My beloved older sister, my mentor, my dearest friend has dementia. This is not new. The old expression “out of sight out of mind” releases me from having to deal with the many aspects that this experience brings. As often as I visit, and as wonderful a time we have together, I have not dealt with the pain or the grief of losing the sister I once knew.
I will be spending the next month looking after my sister while my brother-in-law has surgery. The biggest challenge for me is this: she is totally dependent on her beloved husband. When he leaves the room it is not long before she starts looking for him. Sister becomes concerned, then anxious. I ask myself: “How can I connect to her Essence, to that place of peace, of calm, of safety, that place where there is no fear, and no doubt, that place of Love? How do I step out of my humanness, my grief and comfort her?”
This journey reminds me that it is only the exterior, the form, that has changed; the constant Love and Perfection that she is remains the same. This means it is up to me who must turn away from fear and sorrow and be the Love and the Peace that she truly is. I know that Love and Wisdom guide me. I trust that she knows that she is loved, that she is looked after, and that she is safe.
Jill Inglis