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Our Capacity for Giving

I was taught that it is better to give than to receive. Consequently, when I gave, I felt in control; when I was given to, I felt vulnerable.

In my younger days, there were times I could be very calculating in my giving; other times, I could be quite spontaneous. These were two different behaviors coming from the same motivation: to get what I felt I needed or wanted. Even when I became consciously aware of what I was up to, this behaviour, for the most part, continued despite a cloud of growing disdain for myself.

Over time, I realized I was affirming a pattern of short-term gain for long-term pain. I vowed to reverse this and move myself through short-term pain for long-term gain and heal my feelings of not being enough or having enough. Eventually, I hit a soul-opening crescendo as I experienced becoming an inspired and generous person, just for the joy of it, irrespective of the condition of my financial affairs.

I discovered that as I turned to Spirit as my Source for receiving blessings, I ceased putting pressure on myself to manifest a kind of abundance that was different from what was presently showing up in my life. My feelings of emptiness no longer existed, and I found by simply being I was poised to experience an unlimited capacity in my giving.

I learned that we should never underestimate ourselves, our capacity, our reach, and our inherent spiritual DNA! Our capacity is not just revealed when push comes to shove. It is about experiencing life from the vantage point of the witness, which, when in conspiracy with the laws of the universe, allows us to become a willing a co-creator, instead of a controller. Our reach, be it thought, word or deed is our spiritual legacy in the making.

But before we contemplate our capacity to give to others, we must first contemplate our capacity to receive. Our capacity to give is ultimately about receiving God’s love, about affirming our worthiness. Emerson said: “It is one of the beautiful compensations of this life, that no one cannot sincerely try to help another, without helping himself.”

In the path of my discovery, I had one more turn to give to myself: to see and live this idea of the true giver. It was time to become someone who is so complete within herself that I could love what I knew of myself, and love what I did not know yet. It was tantamount to modeling Spirit's unconditional self-givingness to its creation. Here, I joyfully received myself, without expectation, and fell into the experience of unconditional abundance and pure JOY of receiving the Kingdom of Heaven.

As I came to the realization that it was in my highest interest to see myself as enough, my actions of giving became more honest, simple, and spontaneously enjoyed by both the giver and the receiver.

I am resolved to live life as the demonstration of the gift that has already been given, in ever expanding ways, in service to, and love for humanity. Can you see yourself in this evolutionary process of awakening to your own self-worth and capacity to give?

Rev. Nadene Rogers


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